Seating Arrangement
by Serenity Reigns
Summary: When Naruto rules the world in the afterlife and wants everyone to take a seat at the table for the first undead council. "Unfortunetly no one likes the seating arrangements, and NO Itachi, I'm sorry but I'm not moving you to the guy's side of the table."
1. Table 1

Sitting around the table

Naruto takes over the world in the afterlife and everyone listens to him. He creates a new council to rule and the council is sitting at a table arguing about seating arrangements.

Just imagine Naruto at the head of the table and on his right is Itachi and on his left is Konan. Next to Itachi is Sasuke and next to Konan is Ino. Etc…

So here is the seating arrangement. Girls on Naruto's left and guys on Naruto's right. Of course there are more guys then girls and so some are going to have to sit on the left. But who?

Also many people want to be across from their girlfriend or boyfriend. They also want to be more towards the head of the table AND next to their friends. They also don't want to be near the person who killed them. Also they need to be placed according to what they do in this council.

While they want to be next to their friend Naruto thinks that their student should be to right of them.

Last but not least, there is an empty seat at the end of they table for either the most disgraced or most honored. (depending on what they think.) Let's see how that works out.

Start of Meeting: Seating Arrangements

Naruto

Itachi-Konan

Sasuke-Ino

Shikamaru-Sakura

Kakashi-Kisame

Sasori-Deidara

Sabutori-Granny Chiyo

Jiraiya-Tsunade

Kiba-Tenten

Shino-Hinata

Neji-Hanabi

Gaara-Temari

Kazuku-Hidan

Tobi-Zetsu

Pein-Kurenai

Asuma-Moegi

Konohamaru-Gai

Chogi-Sai

Udon-Lee

Shukaku-Kyuubi

Empty seat.

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone was silent from the blonde's hateful outburst. Naruto was glaring at all of them and an awful lot of them were glaring back.

"If you want to talk," he said hissing "then raise your hand."

Then Pein raised his hand.

Naruto smiled. "Yes Pein"

"These seating arrangements are unacceptable."

"How so?"

"How so Naruto? I'll tell you how so."

Pein took a deep breath.

"First, I am sitting next to Tobi who is farther up the table then me."

"Second, I am sitting across from Kurenai and Asuma who is on my right is looking at me hatefully."

"THIRD, I would rather be sitting across from Konan and also I am WAY to far down this table."

Naruto frowned. "Good point. Alright everyone move down and make way for Pein."

Everyone got up cursing under their breath and glaring at the smug look on Pein's face as he moved into Itachi's seat across from Konan. After sitting down he winked at her and she blushed.

Kisame was next to raise his hand and he was followed closely by Deidara.

"Yes Kisame."

"Naruto…I only have one complaint…Why in the entire ocean blue am I on the GIRL"S SIDE of the table!"

"Kisame…I only have one answer….YOU ARE GENDERLESS!!! YOU ARE A FISH!!!"

"Then what about ME?!?!" Deidara screamed. "I am certainly not a GIRL!"

Naruto looked at him scathingly. Deidara, I'm going to tell this to you bluntly. I am going to be straight forward and tell you the truth.

"You…are…a…GIRL! Or at least you look like one with that hair."

Deidara lost it and tried to attack Naruto and was quickly followed by Kisame.

"WAIT!"

Everyone stopped including Kisame and Deidara.

"I have an idea. All the Uchihas look so girly that they can take your place."

And with that declaration both Itachi and Sasuke attempted to kill the blond that was on their left. But were grabbed by Deidara and Kisame who dragged them to their new seating and tied them there while they shouted profanities and said how they were going to painfully kill Naruto.

But Alas. Deidara took Sasuke's seat saying this was revenge for killing him and Kisame sat down in Itachi's seat looking proud of himself.

"Now wait a bleeping moment. If they get to move then what about me!" A purple-eyed Jashinist spoke looking like he was about to start shouting more curses.

But before he could Ino and Sakura interrupted. "Naruto! I don't want to be across from this (piece of sushi) (girly-man)! I want to be across from Sasuke!

AN: Remember, Pein is at the top of the table now and everyone else moved down.

"FINE! Hidan, switch with Neji. Tobi! Take Sasuke's place and Sasuke make everyone move down and sit across from Sakura!"

They moved but this time Deidara started shouting. "I don't want to be next to my killer Naruto!

"FINE! Sasuke sit across from Ino and everyone move down. There Deidara, now you are next to Kisame."

Neji spoke. "Naruto, I refuse to be on the girl's side of the table with Lee and Gai."

"But Neji," Naruto said with puppy eyes. "At least you'll be on the same side as Tenten."

"I want to be across from Tenten not on the same side as her!"

"FINE! Jiraiya! Go switch with Neji!"

"I should be across from Sasuke! Not Ino!"

"Ino switch with Sakura! Then switch with Itachi

"WHY?"

"Because you and Deidara match."

"NOOO!"

Current Table:

Pein-Konan

Sasuke-Sakura

Kisame-Itachi

Deidara-Ino

Shikamaru-Tobi

Kakashi-Granny Chiyo

Sasori-Tsunade

3rd-Tenten

Neji-Hinata

Kiba-Hanabi

Shino-Temari

Hidan-Jiraiya

Gaara-Zetsu

Kazuku-Kurenai

Asuma-Moegi

Konohamaru-Gai

Chogi-Sai

Udon-Lee

Shukaku-Kyuubi

Empty seat.

AN: If there is anyone else you want to add to the table then review and I will add them in the spot of shame! (honor)


	2. Table 2

Seating Arrangment Chapter 2

* * *

Current Table:

Naruto

Pein-Konan

Sasuke-Sakura

Kisame-Itachi

Deidara-Ino

Shikamaru-Tobi

Kakashi-Granny Chiyo

Sasori-Tsunade

3rd-Tenten

Neji-Hinata

Kiba-Hanabi

Shino-Temari

Hidan-Jiraiya

Gaara-Zetsu

Kazuku-Kurenai

Asuma-Moegi

Konohamaru-Gai

Chogi-Sai

Udon-Lee

Shukaku-Kyuubi

Empty seat.

* * *

Last Time:

"FINE! Jiraiya! Go switch with Neji!"

"I should be across from Sasuke! Not Ino!"

"Ino switch with Sakura! Then switch with Itachi

"WHY?"

"Because you and Deidara match."

"NOOO!"

* * *

Now:

"YEAH! I'm with all the girls!"

Everyone including Itachi on the girl's side immediately started throwing tomatoes at Jiraiya and demanded that Naruto put him in the seat of shame. (AKA: the last empty seat at the end of the table.)

"YEAH! I have all this extra room now!" Hidan shouted gleefully.

BAM!

"I think you spoke too soon Hidan." Naruto said smiling. "Kankuro, how nice of you to join us. Now would you mind telling me WHY YOU ARE LATE?!"

"I had to complete my face paint Naruto-sama. I ran out of my favorite shade of purple."

"Sama?"

Naruto smiled yet again.

"Alright Kankuro. Just take a seat across from Hidan."

Now Kankuro did not know that this was the girl side of the table and sat down smiling and cheerful. But of course Gaara had to ruin the perfect set up.

"Kankuro that's the girl side of the table."

"WHAT?"

Naruto banged his head on the table and screamed. Long and hard.

When he was finally finished he said "Gaara if you are that eager to save your brother from embarrassment then why don't you take his place.

"WHAT?"

"SWITCH NOW!!!"

Gaara and Kankuro traded places.

Kurenai raised her hand.

Kankuro stared at her strangely, but Naruto asked her what she wanted.

"Naruto I wish to be across from Asuma and away from the one who eats people."

"Right, you and Moegi swich."

"But boss! He'll eat me!"

"To bad so sad.""

"Boss! I'll move anywhere but please let me get away from the scary plant-man!"

"FINE! Udon switch with Moegi!

"But boss!" they both said.

"FINE! Both of you go and get us some food and if you bring back something good THEN we'll discuss your seating arrangements! OK?!"

"Yes boss!"

Then Lee noticed something.

"OH GREAT NARUTO-SAMA! THERE IS NO ONE ACROSS FROM ME! I FEEL LONELY! MAY I MOVE TO THE BOYS SIDE AND WILL YOU MOVE MY PRECIOUS BLOSSOM SAKURA ACROSS FROM ME!"

"SHUT UP LEE!"

"BUT NARUTO-SAMA! THAT IS VERY UNYOUTHFUL"

"FINE! MOVE TO THE BOY'S SIDE AND SAKU-"

"NO WAY! NO WAY! NO WAY! I WILL NOT BE MOVING OVER THERE!"

Naruto smiled. "Sakura, you will move over there NOW!

Poor trembling Sakura moved over to take Lee's old seat.

Tobi raised his hand eagerly.

Naruto put his face in his hands. "What do you want Tobi?"

"Tobi wishes to know if he is going to stay on the girls side still Naruto."

"Yes Tobi you are."

"Then Tobi wishes to move so he can sit across Deidara-sempai."

Deidara stood up suddenly "NO! NARUTO DON'T DO THIS!"

Naruto smiled evilly. "Go ahead and move Tobi."

"NOOO!"

"HI DEIDARA-SEMPAI!!!"

"Hey Shikamaru" said Ino who had been moved yet again. "So does this make us lovers?"

"No, that would be too troublesome."

"SHIKAMARU!"

* * *

Current Table:

Naruto

Pein-Konan

Sasuke-Empty Seat

Kisame-Itachi

Deidara-Tobi

Shikamaru-Ino

Kakashi-Granny Chiyo

Sasori-Tsunade

3rd-Tenten

Neji-Hinata

Kiba-Hanabi

Shino-Temari

Hidan-Gaara

Kankuro-Zetsu

Kazuku-Empty Seat

Asuma-Kurenai

Konohamaru-Gai

Chogi-Sai

Lee-Sakura

Shukaku-Kyuubi

Jiraiya

Moegi and Udon are getting food.

* * *

Next time:

-Granny Chiyo complains about her place, Tsunade's and her grandson's.

-Hidan's god comes for a visit.

-A certain cat joins the dead.

-Kyuubi and Shukaku wake up and demand seats at the top of the table.

-A death occurs.

AN: Review and vote who will die. It can't be Naruto but I'll kill just about anyone else.


	3. Table 3

* * *

Seating Arrangement Chapter 3

* * *

Current Table:

Naruto

Pein-Konan

Sasuke-Empty

Kisame-Itachi

Deidara-Tobi

Shikamaru-Ino

Kakashi-Granny Chiyo

Sasori-Tsunade

3rd-Tenten

Neji-Hinata

Kiba-Hanabi

Shino-Temari

Hidan-Gaara

Kankuro-Zetsu

Kazuku-Empty

Asuma-Kurenai

Konohamaru-Gai

Chogi-Sai

Lee-Sakura

Shukaku-Kyuubi

Jiraiya

* * *

"Jashin-sama is must ask. WHY DID YOU BRING THIS CAT HERE?!"

The whole room was in chaos due to the fact that the god Jashin had manifested. Also he had brought something with him that was…as shikamaru would say "Troublesome."

He had brought Tora the cat.

Even in death the cat made the shinobi's lives hell.

Tora yowled, scratched, and caused evident pain.

This is probably why Jashin brought it.

And so to appease the cat they given it a seat at the table. Now notice that they say "it" not he or she. For Tora was so terrifying that they could not even check to see if it was a boy or girl.

Jashin had insisted that Tora be given a place beside him. He had also insisted that he be seated at the head of the table.

And so with that declaration…he took Naruto's seat.

Naruto then took Pein's seat and told everyone to move down. Tora took Konan's seat and she moved into the empty seat next to her.

Now Jiraiya at the end was forced out of the seat of shame and so he went and took the seat next to Zetsu and Kurenai because it was the only open seat.

Now the demon Shukaku had been woken up to the fact that it had to move. Being the all powerful demon it was it insisted that it have a seat at the top of the table by Jashin. And so it took Pein's seat and that side of the table was forced to move down yet again.

Kyuubi had been woken by this ruckus and had demanded that it also get a place at the head the table and more specifically a place across from Naruto.

And so Kyuubi and Tora had a fight.

Tora being the all powerful cat of misery almost won but Kyuubi came out on top.

Dun-Dun DA!

And so Tora took Konan's seat once again and everyone had to move down.

Now Sakura was fed up with being so far down the table.

"JASHIN! NARUTO! KYUUBI! SHUKAKU! WILL ONE OF YOU STUPID LEADERS MOVE ME UP THE FREAKN TABLE!!!"

With this sudden outburst and insult the four all powerful leader turned and incinerated her on the spot.

"NO ONE LIVES TO INSULT ME! Every single one of them shouted.

And that is how Sakura met her demise in the afterlife.

Konahamaru raised his had timidly.

"Yes?" Naruto asked.

"If this is the afterlife and you killed her than where did she go?"

The four leaders looked at one another. Each one had a similar questioning face.

It was a "Uh…I don't know….do you?" kind of face.

Then Naruto smiled "I know where she went!"

Everyone waited with baited breath. They were curious. Did the blond really know what came after death?

……..

……..

……..

"She went to the **after** afterlife."

Apparently not.

"You really are a blond."

"Well duh. What did you think I do? Dye my hair everyday?

Then the old lady raised her hand.

"Yeah Granny Chiyo?"

You four all-powerful, all-knowing leaders, please, move me away from this gambling bimbo!

"Bimbo…AT LEAST I DON"T LOOK LIKE A PRUNE AND WHAT EVEN IS A BIMBO?! Tsunade yelled. "AT LEAST I DON"T SPROUT NONSENSE AND OLD-FASHIONED WORDS LIKE BIMBO!!

"Just shut up and move! Both of you!"

"WHERE?!"

"Tsunade go across from Choji and Granny stay where you are! There, is that far enough apart!"

"NO!"

"Do **you **want to go to the after afterlife?"

"NO!"

"I thought not."

Well if you won't move me farther away from **her, **then at least move my Grandson near me.

"NARUTO DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Sasori….I'm sorry….NOW MOVE!"

"Sweetheart!!!!!!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Current Table:

Jashin

Naruto-Kyuubi

Shukaku-Tora

Pein-Konan

Sasuke-Itachi

Kisame-Tobi

Deidara-Ino

Sasori-Granny Chiyo

Kakashi-Empty

Kakashi-Tenten

The Third-Hinata

Neji-Hanabi

Kiba-Temari

Shino-Gaara

Hidan-Zetsu

Kankuro-Jiraiya

Kazuku-Kurenai

Asuma-Gai

Konahamaru-Sai

Choji-Tsunade

Lee

* * *

Next Time:

-Tobi shows his true personality

-Jashin rewards his follower

-Zetsu gets hungery

-Tora challenges the Kyuubi

-Itachi finally gets to go back to the boy's side. But who will take his place?

An: Review to tell me who get's Itachi's place and who wins the epic battle between Tora and Kyuubi!!!

Also, sorry it took so long for the update, but my computer wasn't working. Also I won't have updates for a while because I'm going to Pennsylvania to visit my grandmother and she doesn't have a computer.

Oh yeah and also I need five more words to make his chapter a thousand words long, so there. That was definetly five more.


	4. Table 4

Table 4

* * *

Current Table:

Jashin

Naruto-Kyuubi

Shukaku-Tora

Pein-Konan

Sasuke-Itachi

Kisame-Tobi

Deidara-Ino

Sasori-Granny Chiyo

Shikamaru-Empty

Kakashi-Tenten

The Third-Hinata

Neji-Hanabi

Kiba-Temari

Shino-Gaara

Hidan-Zetsu

Kankuro-Jiraiya

Kazuku-Kurenai

Asuma-Gai

Konahamaru-Sai

Choji-Tsunade

Lee

* * *

"Hidan!"

"Yes Jashin-sama."

"After all of your years of service I've decided to reward you."

Hidan smiled looking awfully happy. "I live only to serve Jashin-sama."

"Oh I know that. Now you may take Kyuubi's place."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me fox. Move."

"Woe is me!"

While the Kyuubi cried and started to move Naruto held up his hands.

"FREEZE!"

Everyone froze. Literally. Then Naruto began to think about the situation and a year later…

"Alright Jashin. I've decided that I'm stronger than you and I want my spot back." And with the revelation that Naruto was stronger than Jashin…Naruto…leader of the council took up his seat at the head of the table.

Kyuubi got to stay were Kyuubi was.

Hidan got to stay were Hidan was.

Jashin threw Tora out of it's seat.

Tora challenged Kyuubi…and lost again.

Then Tora challenged Pein…and won.

Pein got out of his seat and asked Naruto were he should sit.

Naruto smiled. "Because you have suffered a humiliating defeat at a cat's hands Pein I am going to have you take Itachi's seat."

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"YEEEESSSSSSS!"

Naruto's smile grew wider. "Now Itachi…why don't you go and sit across from Shikamaru."

This sent Itachi into a fit of 'woe is me!' and 'I am not a girl!'.

All the while no one noticed that the seat that Naruto had vacated was still empty. Except for a certain person by the name of Tobi.

Tobi raised his hand and waited patiently.

Naruto finally noticed him.

"Yes Tobi?"

"Tobi is wondering if Tobi can sit across from Kyuubi Naruto-sama."

Everyone froze and look at the empty seat.

There was an uproar that was broken moments after by…

"TOBI SAW THE SEAT FIRST AND TOBI WANTS IT** SO SHUT YOUR MOUTHS YOU INFERIOR NINJA THAT CAN'T EVEN COMPARE TO MANDARA'S GREATNESS. YOU WILL ALL SUFFER IF I DO NOT GET THAT SEAT!!!!!!"**

That shut everyone up.

"A-alright Tobi if you say so."

"YAY!" Tobi then happily skipped to his new seat.

Zetsu was the first to recover and the next to raise his hand. Everyone else was still in shock though so Zetsu waited….and waited…

And waited some more…

Finally Zetsu grew bored of waiting and ate Jiraiya who was sitting next to him.

Everyone was still in shock…except for Jiraiya who was screaming while being eaten alive.

"NOOOOOO!!! AAARRRGGHHHH!!!!"

*burp*

"Excuse me. **Seconds?"**

* * *

Current Table:

Naruto

Tobi/Mandara-Kyuubi

Shukaku-Jashin

Tora-Konan

Sasuke-Pein

Kisame-Empty

Deidara-Ino

Sasori-Granny Chiyo

Shikamaru-Itachi

Kakashi-Tenten

The Third-Hinata

Neji-Hanabi

Kiba-Temari

Shino-Gaara

Hidan-Zetsu

Kankuro-Empty

Kazuku-Kurenai

Asuma-Gai

Konahamaru-Sai

Choji-Tsunade

Lee

* * *

AN: This will probably be the end of Seating Arrangements. A crackfic that held a deep place in my heart until I grew bored of it. But I had this chapter to I decided to post it. If anyone wants me to continue then they should review or PM me and let me know. K?


End file.
